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gooseberry falls

i'm so sorry

I'm so sorry that i left the sectional early, i really didn't want to.I know that i probably need the practice more than anybody. i'm really really sorry, and i'm scared i'm going to be cut from weapon.

i've broken down.

for the first time i broke down in front of my parents. its just so much, i don't understand how to do all of it, and most of the time i can hold myself together, but right now i just can't stop crying. 

it started with my cell phone battery dying and then my dad just started yelling at me for that, because i ended up dropping a call with my mother because of it. then he started to yell at me for not cleaning the rabbits cage and getting a appointment for her to get her nails trimmed. i tried to explain that i was too busy this week and that i would get it done. then i just broke and started crying. he let me cry for a few minutes and then told me that i brought this on myself, i chose to do all of this so i can't break down. i guess i'm grounded for letting the cell die too. 

i hate crying, it just feels so wrong. i'm scared. i just want lie down and cry, but i don't think i can. i'll just let this surmount until, i don't know when.

why can't this be easy